On the evening of 2nd October, around 80 Old Boys and guests — spanning several generations — gathered upstairs at The Union Hotel in North Sydney for the inaugural OIU Men's Mental Health Series event. Organised by Sam Shepherd (OR91) and Hugh Sinclair (OR2002), the evening set out to bring mental health "out of the shadows", encouraging men to talk about wellbeing as easily as they might chat about a recent holiday, a rugby match, or a round of golf. 

The event took the form of a Q&A panel discussion hosted by Sam, who was joined by former Wallaby Ben Alexander and dual Olympian rower and current CEO of NSW Rugby, Peter Murphy. Sam Shepherd opened the evening sharing his story, which was an honest account of his own mental health journey and what led him to start this new OIU initiative. 

Ben Alexander and Peter Murphy proceeded to share their deep personal experiences of managing mental health through the demands of elite sport and beyond. A Conversation, not a Lecture Sam, Ben and Peter agreed mental health should be treated no differently from physical health. "Most blokes wouldn't hesitate to see a doctor if they broke an arm," said Sam. "The same should apply to our mental wellbeing." The conversation was open and real, full of candour, good humour, and relatable moments. It was a night designed not to preach, but to normalise the idea that it's okay to talk about what's really going on.  

The Power of Human Connection 

Reflecting on the evening, Hugh Sinclair said: "We must be more attentive to supporting everyone in our midst and affirm to those who are struggling that they're never alone, and that there is always hope and possibility." That theme of connection ran strongly through the night. Ben and Peter emphasised the importance of belonging: to a team, a community, a family, or simply a group of good mates. It was acknowledged that for many men, loneliness can quietly become one of the greatest risks to mental health, and connection is one of the best antidotes. 

Ben Alexander, who is a former forward with the Wallabies and the ACT Brumbies, where he became their most-capped player, also shed light on his challenges after retiring from professional rugby in 2018. He urged everyone gathered not to define themselves only by their job or achievements. "We're more than what we do," he said. "We're fathers, husbands, friends. When you see yourself more broadly, life becomes richer and more balanced," said Ben. 

He also spoke of his initiative, 'Running for Resilience (R4R)', which began as a small running group and has grown into four weekly events with more than 500 participants. Ben stressed that the group is about much more than exercise: it's about showing up, connecting, and supporting each other through shared purpose and conversation. 

Peter Murphy also shared his daily mental health plan, which is a structured mix of exercise, healthy eating, meditation, and spirituality. "It's about making sure you look after yourself, so you can be the best version of yourself," said Peter. Owning Your Story Perhaps the strongest message of the night was the importance of owning your story: when you accept it and stop hiding it, it loses its power. 

Ben, Peter and Sam each underscored that openness is liberating, as it invites understanding and connection. "By recognising mental health challenges early and responding with compassion, we can prevent more serious outcomes. 

As mates, we should all look out for one another." said Sam. The reminder — to check in, to listen, and to be present — underpinned the night. 

The Role of Gratitude and Service 

The panel also explored the Ignatian theme of "men of others" and the power of giving back: helping others, whether through volunteering, coaching, or simply lending a hand. All shared the view that service is a powerful way to maintain perspective and purpose, and that helping others helps you, because it helps keeps you grounded and grateful.